December 22nd, 2008

So the days are winding down for the year and here I am sick. I realized my last post was WAY back in July. I have so much that needs to be said since then. Time is just getting away from me and I'm glad I finally have a chance, although not as welcome as I would have liked, to sit down and put some thoughts to blog.

The most important thing that has happened to me since July was the brief chance I had to date Clarissa. The story is the same, boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, girl decides she's going to stop dating me to date her missionary that might come back in two weeks. Her missionary never came home and that leaves us where we are now, still broken up with little/no contact. It was the closest thing to a relationship since COATO (yes, that is code) and even though it's been over for months I still find it noteworthy. Since then, we've both moved on and life is dandy.
Brandy is still gone. BRANDY!!! BUT, she's come back to visit once and is going to be here this week too. :) It's been rough not having your best chick friend around all the time especially when my schedule is so fubar and backwards from hers. I can't wait to see her. :)

I got laid off at the Rose Pedal because business was just way too slow. So that's 2 jobs that I've been laid off due to the economy in 6 months. But, I'm a supervisor now at Sorenson with 10 people under me and it looks like this job will be more steady for me. My biggest goal right now is to get rid of all my debt and that's kinda been difficult without a steady income so now it looks like I will be in the clear by next year still. :) 2nd goal is to get myself a condo... Although, I don't know how feasible that will be in case plans move forward with the band that's looking at me.

My mind is like one cohesive train ride that circles and circles without really ending up anywhere. ;) A band is looking into me to get me to help them record their album because they're looking for a new voice. It's my type of stuff so I don't know how well it will take off... ANYONE that knows me knows my music isn't really mainstream. WAS mainstream. Guess a few decades will do that to your music if it doesn't keep changing. Except you Metallica. You were always better before you started down your "path of perdition". We're talking about POST Black Album. Don't give me any lip Hettfield, you know what I'm talking about! Anyway, these guys have all the connections and have done a few tours in Japan already. They just want to get some more things together, record and then see where we can go from there. No guarentees but I'm singe, w/o children and have a love for music; if this goes anywhere, sign me up.

Dan got married. Best girl he could have chosen. I love Laura and she is a good balance for him. He was kinda pissing me off with the girls he was dating because they all weren't very smart or didn't mesh well with our family... My family is diverse. People say that but then again, most people don't have a family put together from 12 different adults. You know, sometimes I wonder how the hell I made it this far because I should be a lot more fucked up. 12 different adults make my immediate family complete. That's not including the parents of those 2 people (soon to be 3) that have married into the family. It takes a certain kind of person to be able to marry into this. A person that is not judgmental, a person that is smart (gotta keep the family tree straight), a person that gets along with everyone, has a keen sense of humor... List goes on. Point is, nobody Dan dated before cut it. Laura did.

Other than that, I don't do a whole lot with my friends anymore. It's a very small group I choose to spend time with. I work opposite hours of almost everyone I know so it's ostricized me from a lot of people I've been close to before but I'm not stretched as thin. And my bar tab is a LOT smaller. ;) I wish I could see all my friends for the holiday but I'm working overtime hours at work. "The deaf and hard of hearing don't take holidays from being deaf."

All in all, this year has been a big one. Not as much drama as years before, praise Allah, and I feel like I'm continuing forward. It's slow progress and a lot of hard work but I'm already better for it. If I died tomorrow I'd be please with what I've accomplished. I'm not going away anytime soon though because I still have lots ahead of me. I'm only 24 and the world is ahead of me.

July 12th, 2008

So remember the Twilight Concert Series I was talking about? FREAKING AWESOME! It was so great this week! I'm so sad I didn't get to stay for roots because the first show was great. "Stick it in the air!!!" Oooo.... and Cut Throat was on tap... [Blank] needs to learn to not dress like a hoe. Holy cow. I was discussing this with Brandy that there are two different types of girls out there: Classy and Trashy. When you have breasts, you can't always help not showing them, especially if they're huge. Fact of life. But, just because you have breasts doesn't mean that everybody and their dog wants to see them. Fun bags over here was popping out all night and I just couldn't handle it anymore and had to just say something. So, in my own special way, I told her by taking a picture of her, zooming in on them. I asked her if she knew that this was what she looked like when she left her place. Thankfully, I wasn't the only person saying things about them. We ran into a fellow co-worker of Brandy's who also said something. He was a guy also which is further proof that all men aren't dogs. Although I have been known to bark from time to time.

I STILL need a copy of Twilight... Anyone that knows anyone with a copy of it... I need it! Like, badly... Jaime already has already been reading so I'm falling behind. She's totally going to read ahead and then I'm going to feel stupid when she's read the whole book and I'm still looking for the freaking thing... There goes book-club out the door. At least I get to read the NYTimes everyday at work. That is actually the best thing about this job. I don't really get THAT much downtime but I do have internet, however limited, to read the daily newspaper. I feel like I'm getting smarter because I'm reading again. Read, read. Expand your mind. Yeah, that's right Lavar Burton. Scoot on over cause there's a new Reading Rainbow in this town.

Work has been fun. I've been pulling 13 hour days and all I can say about that is that I really don't mind. I think the work at both jobs is pretty great. I have enough down time that sometimes it's like I'm just hanging out rather than working but enough work to do that I don't get randomly distracted. It's nice that I have the internet too. Hooray internet! I've been re-scheduled to get Comcast the 31st and the guy talked me into getting cable and internet. I'm thinking that I just want internet now even though it will cost $25 a month my share vs. $37.

Amanda is mad and won't tell me why. What is it about people that get mad but can't restrain themselves enough to talk to you about it? I don't get it... If I give her a few days she'll be fine and probably won't even tell me why she was mad. I don't get that either... Communication. Some people use the tool and some people choose not to. Whatever works, right?

July 8th, 2008

Started work at Rose Pedal Records. It's awesome! I can't believe that I'm finally here... The majority of the work that comes in already has art so Raland hasn't needed me for much but he has started training me on the video transfer stuff. He won't stop praising me because I'm learning all the technical stuff with him only telling me once. Since I had tinkered around once when I had put together the Asia slide show for the family I knew a little of what to do. Everything relates to everything else so I don't really see what the big deal is but if Raland is happy, that's all that matters. He calls me genius boy which is a term I am quite fond of. ;) I watched a birth today. We had to edit out the bloody parts and seriously, I don't know what sick joke they thought this was but man alive... MAN ALIVE!!! Have you watched a birth before? WHO FILMS THIS SHIT?!?! And beyond that, what sick person makes someone else edit out the blood?! They saw it the first time so don't they know how much blood is there?! Seriously! I'm never having kids if I have to watch the wife go through that. I'd be the first to pass out with the smell and sounds and... It's just not my cup of tea. But, aside from that, I'm really enjoying that job. I work 5 hours and it only feels like 2, maybe 3. It's amazing how I'm just made for this job. The people, the music, the tech... Raland is grooming me to be the next him. Except I won't be as goofy. I know that's hard to believe but I can't be more goofy than him. Ever. But I admire the guy for what he's learned, what he does professionally and for what kind of a person he is.

So I've had a lot of time to think about life lately... Specifically about girls. I don't know how long it's been that I've felt like I've been on the rebound... I almost would have to say since Rhea, the opera singer. I was thinking back to the girls that I've dated and what kind of influence they have been on me and what changes I've made because of them... I haven't been really proud with the past 3 years of the girls I've chosen to date, save a few choice ones. I really need to sit down and really analyze what I've found attractive about these girls/women and really pick out all the qualities that I need to look for and decide on stricter "can't date you" guidelines. I talked a little about this to Brandy and a few other friends and the feedback they've given me has really helped. Considering everything that has happened to me, relationship wise, I can't believe how open I've remained. I have always believed this to be a great quality because I don't let my jaded soul dictate who I open up to. Lately, in contrast, I'm beginning to see that having barriers aren't necessarily a negative quality at all. In fact, they can protect us from repeating past mistakes, especially if we have a tendency to be around a certain type of people. I don't believe that stereotyping every woman I run into is the answer but making certain, educated judgments about what may or may not qualify them to date, I'm coming to discover, is quite necessary. I've tried staying away from the prissy, plastic girls because, frankly they're a pain in my ass and I don't like swimming in their bullshit. They talk forever about nothing and all they do is bitch and moan about this or that, never for one second making a compliment excepting a quick comment meant only as an intro into some sarcastic... Am I bitching? Hopefully you get the point and know the type of girl I'm talking about. But that is what I need to do MORE of. I need to pay attention to the things that will make me happy or would drive me crazy, no matter how cute she is when she looks at me with that smile...

I can't believe how much I can write here on the afternoon shift. Down time is HUGE when it gets deeper into the evening... I need to start reading something more than just the New York Times. :) Yeah, yeah throw me your "I hate liberals" and other "hate speech" like that. I can take it. Actually, speaking of liberalism, they had this GREAT article today about Fox News in the opinion section. I about died it was so funny. :) Apparently Fox News attacks anyone that tries to smear their name or smear the name of one of it's editors. Well, this NYTimes writer basically ranted about Big Bad Fox News. If you have any mind for the satirical or sarcastic, you'll love the article. :)

So, we're going to do Metal Gods this Thursday. I have only been once in... Wow. I can't even remember the last time I went... At least 5 months? Dang Gina. I've been missing out! Think of all the live metal I'm missing out on! Speaking of music... This week marks the beginning of the Twilight Concert Series courtesy of Salt Lake City! HOORAY!!! Sam Bush came last year and was AWESOME!!! I can't wait! I have Thursdays off so I'll be able to go to a bunch!

July 5th, 2008

Well, the move went relatively smooth. The biggest problem was getting all my furniture moved... I think I need to get a U-Haul truck next time... I didn't realize I had so much crap. If I move out of state, the only thing I'm considering keeping is my bed and TV. Seriously. If I go anywhere I can find a new couch or other furniture. Especially if I have a yard sale or something before I move, if I move. Maybe I'll take my dishes and stuff too... Hmm... I was talking to Mickie Wednesday and she was joking that I had as much stuff as a married couple. :) I thought that was pretty funny but it really is true... Well, besides the fact that my bed is made for only one person. And I don't have any matching "love towel" sets with her/my initials embroidered on them. I also decided that I think I enjoy not having a dresser. It's not very convenient when I'm trying to find places to put my clean clothes but I think there is a trade-off I'm willing to take when it comes to moving... Who wants to move a dresser?! They're awkward, heavy and generally the drawers fall out when you're lifting them and smack you right in the knee, if you're lucky. I'd rather live my "bohemian life" by throwing my clean clothes in the corner. I stack the clean clothes nicely so I can usually tell the clean one's from the dirty ones, although it's not a fool-proof system yet. I need to work on using different corners but old habits die hard, you know? ;)

I haven't been able to test out the pool yet but from what I can see, it's good. It's not as good as the pool at the parent's house but who can beat that?! Speaking of which, Krista and children came over to the pool to go swimming. I think my mom had the most fun because she's hungry for some grandchildren. :) She was really sweet and made us all a small lunch between swim sessions. Maryanne and Isabelle loved the pool so much that we were hard pressed to get them out of the pool. Krista almost had to resort to disciplinary action because they wanted to stay so badly. My patience was wearing thin but Krista kept everything in stride and eventually got everyone out and where they needed to be. I guess that's why I'm not a parent yet and she is. I have so much that I don't know but I hear it's a learn-as-you-go thing. What happens if your child is FUBAR-ed after you're done? Do you get to put them back in the oven and try again?

I'm at work writing all this. I have only gotten about 4 calls since I started my shift... All of which ended quickly. I've already read today's paper and thought moving onto other productive activities would be more rewarding that falling asleep and drooling on my keyboard. So this one time in college (sorry, I was reminded of this and have to share the story) I was in my ITW class (Intellectual Traditions of the West) and the professor was awful... I don't know if you've ever read Livy. I like Livy. But have you ever been read Livy in a monotone voice when you've already read it the night before because that was what was assigned? Needless to say, I was bored out of my mind. Because I wasn't exactly on a regular sleep schedule either (it's college, you know how it is. And it was my 1st semester so I was gung-ho about studying, doing extra group study sessions, etc.) I started dosing off. You know, when you're trying to focus on what is being said but then your vision gets blurry but then snaps back to full focus and all your concentration goes to keeping your eyes focused because you know that if they lose focus again, they might not re-focus? Then, the room went black and I felt myself falling. SMACK! Faceplant into my desk at maximum velocity and remember, this is in the middle of the professor reading Livy with a class size of maybe, 30 students. Good news is the hot girl behind me offered to give me her notes for the day. She was really sweet and was the spitting image of that girl from the movie clueless. I don't know the actress' name, if you can call her an actress. More like, youth pop-icon put into the lime-light because she looked good on camera. ;) But back to the story... Where was I? Oh, yeah. Hot girl. REALLY hot girl. Then, another time I fell asleep in the same class, same professor, different text. Anyway, hot girl kicked me to wake me up from behind and when I sat up my paper was stuck to my mouth because I had been drooling a bit.

So enough of my college blunders. :) ...well, for now at least. I'm sure that a few more stories will trickle down into these digital pages... So the 4th of July was yesterday. It was a great day, all in all. First, Krista came over to watch a movie at the new apartment. She said the thing she missed most about the old place was the fact that I had surround sound set up for my movies. I don't have all the room I had before so I don't know if I'll be able to set something like that up again... No harm in trying, I guess. Anyway, we watched Hide and Seek. Scared her so bad she almost cut my hand in two pieces squeezing it during the scariest parts. But I didn't mind to much because I fell asleep for most of the movie anyway. I can't wait to get on a more regular schedule for work. That also means 60 hrs a week but I'm sure I'm going to love every moment of it. I mean, who wouldn't want to work at a record label?! Maybe Hitler or Stalin. But they sucked as people anyway. Tools...

After my nap and the movie, Krista headed out and I left for Paul's place for a BBQ. Some of the best ribs I've ever tasted. We had a smoker for the meat, using mesquite wood for that rich, West-style cooking, onion glaze with BBQ sauce... Mmmm... I think I just made myself hungry... We decided to make it a karaoke night of it too which was great because we had about 9 or 10 singers there so the rounds went by quickly and were sometimes non-existant when people got distracted. I accidently left my rice there so I'm going to have to go back sometime this week. Rice is my staple food. Sometimes I really think that I should have been born on the other side of the world where rice is more of a staple... After, I went down to Kilby Court and met up with this married girl and her husband that I had met the night previous. We set off fireworks and just hung out until late. They were a chill bunch of people so I'm probably going to go hang out with them again. Hooray for Mary and her husband!

June 16th, 2008

Pin Drop. I recently an e-mail (in red) about Collin Powell and a certain Archbishop of Canterbury. Emails like this piss me off because they are riddled with half-truths and are usually taken out of context. I had heard this story before and am taking it upon myself to spread the TRUTH about this incident because I find that the truth, in this case, has FAR greater meaning than what was in this measly email. Please read what I found at http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/bl-colin-powell.htm. You don't actually have to go there though because I thought that this would make a great addition to my blog. :) God bless the USA!

When in England, at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building' by George Bush. He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.

[Although U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell did utter words similar to the above, he was not in England at the time, nor was he addressing the current Archbishop of Canterbury, nor was he responding to a question about "empire building."

The actual occasion was an address to the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland on January 26, 2003, wherein Powell defended the U.S. government's position that the use of military force against Saddam Hussein, unilateral or otherwise, was not only justified but necessary if the complete disarmament of Iraq could not be achieved by other means.

In a question-and-answer session afterwards (during which the phrase "empire building" was never mentioned, incidentally), the secretary of state was asked by former Archbishop of Canterbury George Carey if he felt the U.S and its allies had given due consideration to the use of "soft power" — promulgating moral and democratic values as a means of achieving progress towards international peace and stability, basically — versus the "hard power" of military force.]

[There is nothing in American experience or in American political life or in our culture that suggests we want to use hard power. But what we have found over the decades is that unless you do have hard power — and here I think you're referring to military power — then sometimes you are faced with situations that you can't deal with.

I mean, it was not soft power that freed Europe. It was hard power. And what followed immediately after hard power? Did the United States ask for dominion over a single nation in Europe? No. Soft power came in the Marshall Plan. Soft power came with American GI's who put their weapons down once the war was over and helped all those nations rebuild. We did the same thing in Japan.

So our record of living our values and letting our values be an inspiration to others I think is clear. And I don't think I have anything to be ashamed of or apologize for with respect to what America has done for the world.

We have gone forth from our shores repeatedly over the last hundred years and we’ve done this as recently as the last year in Afghanistan and put wonderful young men and women at risk, many of whom have lost their lives, and we have asked for nothing except enough ground to bury them in, and otherwise we have returned home to seek our own, you know, to seek our own lives in peace, to live our own lives in peace. But there comes a time when soft power or talking with evil will not work where, unfortunately, hard power is the only thing that works.]

See? Now THAT'S the Colin Powell I know. :)

June 15th, 2008

So, Senator Clinton is complaining that the media is being sexist. You know, I thought that the Clinton's were low before when I thought they didn't have morals but now? Who complains about the media being sexist when you're running against a black man? From a campaign standpoint, there is more legislation in place to show equality based on race then gender, so that weakens her platform... Also, ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?! Ok, Hillary, or should I say, Al Gore. Sore loser? Maybe. Unethical person exploiting every "weakness" she sees? Definitly. The Clintons have killed people before just to keep them quiet (deep throat fiasco). This only further prooves that they're are willing to do ANYTHING. How discraceful! If I had been a Hillary supporter, which I most certainly am not, I would be appauled with her behavior ESPECIALLY after she was such a sore loser before when Obama actually had every delegate he needed. "I will not concede!" Yeah, my foot. The best thing that could have happend for us would be for you and the former President Clinton to go back to Arkansas/New York and just focus on your daughter or something... Although, I hear that there is much more potential for the Clinton girl to get into office later on...

So my team leader is in a great mood today. He keeps singing musicals. "The sun will come out, tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar that, tomorrow. Come what may..." Anyway, it's great because I'm working at my desk and over the cubicle I hear these tunes. Brings a smile right to my face. :) I'm so glad that I'm not the only person in this world that randomly sings musical numbers. I IM'ed him the following stanza to what he was singing. He thought it was great. :) My TLS is really nice, especially for not knowing me.

I got my first test call today too. It's where they verify that I have learned everything I was supposed to in training. Anyway, my TLS had only one thing to say that I needed to do better. And he said that it wasn't a major point anyway. Hooray for me! I'm really liking the job more and more. It's easy/challenging at the same time. It really lets me have a chance to shine and get noticed for the little things I add to a call. I've been complimented daily by the hearing users saying that they appreciated the feeling I put into calls. I'm a people person. I love people. I sometimes just totally forget that I'm in a call because I'm so focused on these people's lives... Count your many blessings... I may not have had the easiest life but I sure am grateful for the people in my life that have helped shape it. It could be so much worse for me... I have these times where I feel like God is allowing me to see certain lives so I can more fully understand his endless love and charity for us, His children. How does He continually maintain His patience? We are all here making mistake after mistake and yet He is still there, hands reaching for us. He's waiting for us to just look to Him. How can I treat others today with the respect that He requires? With the love He shares? How can I show Him that I truly want to follow Him and His teachings?

There is so much more to write... Maybe tomorrow I'll have more...

June 11th, 2008

UPDATE: 5 year High School Reunion.
So I got there a little late... BUT! This time I can blame Sharalyn. I waited for her to get off work so we could go by together, possibly sparing us from having to show up alone and be ridiculed by all the "marrieds" from our class. We didn't show up THAT late either but upon arrival we noticed that the park was a bit empty... Not just empty like, there's only a few jelly beans left in that gallon jug but more of a Planet of the Apes feeling of empty when Heston sees the statue of liberty half buried in sand. We were the only two people in the park. Seriously. I did then what any person would do; I fell to the ground laughing hysterically at the PROOF of a lack of interest in a 5 year reunion! Maybe I'm not that different from the rest of the people in my class... Until I hung out with Sharalyn the rest of the night... But that's another story for another day. :) I wasn't even pissed that I didn't get any of the food I had been promised either. I was just relieved that nobody missed me either from High School. I was all worked up that I was going to run into someone I knew from before and I was going to forget their name and they were going to pour out their soul about how they've always loved me but never talked to me but they want to marry me and be the mother of my children but they've never actually met me... Hey, I lived in Barstow. These things DO happen, believe it or not... LONG story, not getting into it... Anyway, didn't have to pretend to know anyone. Didn't have to pretend to like anyone. Didn't have to pretend to have fun. All in all, the flopped reunion was a GREAT success! Props to '03! Chicka chicka yeah!!!

So, I hear that Kanye West thinks he is bigger than John Lennon. WHAT?!?! Is anybody that arrogant? I decided that I wanted to write my feelings. - Kanye, you suck. You feign grandeur because you WANT it so badly. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be the best but merely saying you're the best doesn't make it so. Take this short illustration. I want to kick you in the face. Does that mean I can go around saying I kicked Kanye West in the face? No, because that would make me a liar. Do you see your shortcomings here? Fiction: Kanye West is better than John Lennon. Fact: Kanye West is a whiny, lying, racist bitch. Ok, maybe that was a little harsh but what about this thought... How many albums did John Lennon help produce? How many artists were touched and influenced by Lennon's music? And now your side. How many albums have you produced? And I want to know, ACTUALLY produced, not made "beats" for because you and everyone else in this world KNOWS that MAKING BEATS is just ORGANIZING clips of music SOMEBODY ELSE already wrote... I repeat, SOMEBODY ELSE ALREADY WORTE. Lennon never wrote beats, he wrote a dynamic, fluid musical composition AND THEN added insightful lyrics with a message of love, hope, etc. and to top the whole thing off, added a melody to the lyrics. How many musicians have you inspired, Kanye? Specifically with that song Gold Digger. Lennon made music trying to save the world and here you are talking about pimps, bitches and hoes. And I say talking because you aren't even singing. Is it too much to ask you to sing? You know, William Hung can't sing. You don't see that stopping him. Does William Hung have more balls than Kanye West? I'd say yes.
Thanks to Brandy for this inspired rant.

So they don't have a name for the back-ial. They kept saying, spa treatment. That's too long to say. I'm officially declaring the treatment to be named, BACK-IAL. Let it be known. Let it also be known that they are AMAZING! Holy, flamming, cherubic cow! Amazing. Almost fell asleep because it was sooo soothing. I'm thinking that girls know a lot more secrets that they haven't been telling us men... I bet they even have the cure for cancer... and probably even AIDS. I'm watching you guys more closely now... You aren't to be trusted. Anyway, the girl was pretty cute. She kept talking about her "new and improved" boobs. She was 21. Boob job at 21. I'm 23 and I can't imagine getting a boob job. Well, I imagine it but I'd never actually consider it. Let me just say you'd be hard pressed to get me out of the house. Ok, bad pun. Anyway, all in all, I wouldn't ever pay full price but I'd definitely go in again for a back-ial.

Stop-Loss.
So I had this movie night with Brandy. Changed my life. I'm not even kidding you. It was a ridiculously personal experience that I had so I'm not going to share it here, I'm sorry. But I have to write something about it here so if I do decide to share later, I'll have record of this event. - "A curse? I'd call it a gift. Ask, why has God seen fit to bestow upon me this gift?"

Move in date is the 1st of July. I got my other friends an apartment in the same complex! It's going to be great living there. I just have to cut down my budget like I did in Stillwater. No more eating out all the time (unless it's under $2 for a meal) and no more rocking out at Metal Gods. :( Well, rocking out at Metal Gods in moderation. :) There. That's a fair compromise! I'm excited to move! The place will be awesome! The location will work better for work... I'll miss my friends and brothers here but they can still visit! There will be more space there.

So Justin now has his own LC. He's ridiculously excited about it and I say that it's good for him. Also, it protects Kelly Applegate. I think that was the biggest motivation for him to do the legal work for Justin... Oh well, right? All's well that ends well, I suppose.

I don't have much else going on besides eating, sleeping, and working. Any time that is spent with friends is minimal compared with how much time I usually spend. I've probably cut friend time down to about 4 hours a week. It was around 30-45 hrs a week when I was working at Meridian. It's amazing how strong desperation is as a motivational tool. ;) That and I'm trying to keep my mind off certain things. I hope it's healthy to use productive distractions as a coping strategy...

June 5th, 2008

5 year High School reunion... Seriously, who the hell is going to go to that?! Well, probably me but still! It's this Saturday and I don't even have a date that can charade as a girlfriend because anybody that we'd see would know it's a lie because we went to school together! Ahh!!!

So, on a related side note, I have been getting a lot of "add me's" on myspace and facebook recently from people I used to know in High School. I think the spike is a direct result of the reunion. But 5 years?! Seriously people. I'm going because of the catered food. Everyone else is going because... I don't know... Why not just wait until the 10 year reunion? Isn't that the standard time of waiting before you see how F***ed up everyone's life is? With Viewmont, I really think everyone is still in that same mindset. I should know because I run into people when I visit B-Town. Nobody grows up, excpet for (fka) Megan Davies and a few others. One thing that REALLY has surprised me is everyone that has added me recently from High School has gotten fat. Ok, maybe not fat but they've gained a few pounds. And by a few, I mean like 20. That is something I seriously don't understand. It's like ballooning overnight to me because 5 years is NOT that long. I have this ex that added me but she gained like, 30 lbs. She looks like she's in her late 30's!!! How do people allow that to happen to themselves? Is it apathy? I knew obesity in America was a problem but damn! I'd expect these changes after marriage because you don't have time for anything but your children (this is Utah, I'm allowed to say that) or because your wife can cook better than anyone (you don't count Mickie. I know your cooking rocks, Matt just eats enough for two and won't ever show it) but what if you're still single, going to school, working, etc? Wouldn't you take some extra time to work out? Wouldn't you take some time and eat healthy? Anyway, this rant went on for entirely too long but I'm just amazed. I really didn't expect those changes in these people. One more proof that I'm getting old. Praise Allah I only look 12 still. :)

So I'm going to Layton tomorrow to get a facial, but for my back. That's how my friend explained it to me. I didn't want to sound stupid not knowing what a facial was so I thought that I'd write here. Maybe you two people that actually read this (Mickie and Laura) blog will get a kick out of it. I was thinking I should probably google it but I'm kinda excited going and not knowing. It's not like they're going to wax my back right? I've heard of waxing before and I'm sure they call it waxing, not a facial. Or a back-ial. The whole point in going is that my friend has this chick friend she wants me to meet. She's going to be the one giving me the back-ial (since I don't know what it's called, we'll continue to use this terminology. Educate me with the real term and I'll use that. :p). She cute, nice and I'm not meeting her in a bar. (2 pts!) Anyway, I think I'll have to take off my shirt so I hope I don't blind her. Unless you can do a back-ial with your shirt on. But I don't think that's the case because your face isn't covered... So, if facial = back-ial then unclothed face = unclothed back, right? I'm a genius when it comes to this logic stuff. I should probably do something about these "shoulder pads" too that I have. I saw this commercial on TV for Veet. It's supposed to be this hair removal formula that you remove with a plastic tool. I think I'm going to buy that and try and con a friend into helping me. I'm sure they'll get a kick out of it using this fun, new product especially if I let them take pictures. And all this for a back-ial. I'm starting to appreciate what you women do for us men. Seriously. You guys have to be doing crap to your bodies non-stop to help skin or hair or this or that. I'm 23 and I still hear about new treatments or new procedures! It's nuts!!! And what's more amazing is that every woman that I talk to knows about all this stuff... It truly is wisdom in God to make me a man. I couldn't keep up with all this chick crap. I have a hard enough time trying to keep up with all the new poke'mon in the fantasy world (didn't mean to spoil that for anyone that thought poke'mon were real...), and if I can't catch 'em all, how would I ever know all these chick treatments?! So, thank you to the women for making yourselves beautiful. I wonder where else Veet can remove hair besides my back...

So I don't know how to message back on this so I'm posting my comments of previous comments at the end of each blog.

-Mickie -
3 things. 1. Are you preggers yet? Seriously, it's not only the cool thing to do but time's a wastin'. ;) 2. Thanks for reading and commenting on the blogs here. Sometimes they're long. 3. I was talking about the latest girl that I met at the bar. The one that actually sang karaoke. Anyway, we did talk about her but her name doesn't really matter because I think I probably shouldn't think about her for a while.... How's life at Meridian?
-Laura-
I love your soap box. Continue to use your soap box. :) Thanks for your comments because I REALLY needed a pick-me-up. Oh, and nobody talks about music because they all think that you think that every good song is by Bon jovi. ;) jk I'll try to stop by on my way home from work or something and say hello. I get off around 2:30pm each day. Do you make Shane read these blogs too? I'm writing them partially because he told me to...

June 3rd, 2008

So I've been looking for apartments in Murray. I think I found a great place so I'm really excited to move everything in. It's going to be a lot cleaner and I'm not going to have giant bugs crawling all over the walls. Air conditioning will be nice to have too because lately, everything has been pretty unbearable... Fans are on HIGH all day & all night. Give us 3 more weeks and they'll have been on for 40 days and 40 nights. Kinda makes me think of rain... The 40 days and night thing, not the whole swimming in my own sweat. That just reminds me of Oklahoma. And a Greyhound Bus ride from hell... {shivers} Long story, another day.

Anybody that knows me also knows that I don't have strong feelings for country. Lately, I've had one song hit me rather hard. Do you know that Garth Brooks song, more than a memory? I hadn't heard of it before karaoke but I've had it in my head all morning. Made myself cry on the way to work today just singing it. I don't even know all the words but here's what I know...

"It's when you're dialing six numbers just to hang up the phone, driving across town just to see if she's home. Waking a friend in the dead of the night, just to hear him say it's going to be all right. When you're finding things to do not to fall asleep because you know she'll be waiting in your dreams, that's when she's more than a memory..." For me, the song is like a plea to be heard, a plea to be understood. For me personally, it's a plea to be comforted... The problem lies in not being able to get "her" out of my head. It's been only a few weeks, I know, but it is almost getting to the point that I can't concentrate at work because I'm thinking about her constantly... If I were giving myself advice, I'd say SNAP OUT OF IT! Get on with life. Don't wait for someone that doesn't care about you because that doesn't make any sense! I think the biggest problem is that I no longer feel grounded in logic and reason but rather that other side of myself that I try not to talk about... I feel like emotion is driving me this past month and I can't seem to get back. I feel that my heart is torn between what I want to do and what I'm doing, in regards to this girl. She asked that I step back and give her space but something is eating at me, as if something is wrong. I don't have those feelings often but when I do, I feel compelled to do/say something. This time, I've bitten my tongue and have honored her request because that's what I'm supposed to do right? That's what a gentleman would do, right? This is why nice guys finish last; because they, like an obedient puppy, do as they're told without complaint or reservation. I would do anything to be with her now but I KNOW I can't. I KNOW she doesn't care. I KNOW she doesn't want me, she wants some douchebag that doesn't even get her flowers on her birthday or stays awake and listens to how her day went. Instead he kicks her out and locks the door behind her while she is in her underwear at HER OWN APARTMENT and makes her WALK BAREFOOT to her closest friend's house to stay the night. I'm not like that. In fact, I almost threw up when I heard it because doing something that deliberately abusive and personally demoralizing that, even at my absolute worst, I could never do that. I wouldn't even fathom doing that. So, her loss, right? Well, she get's what she deserves, right? Problem is, I've met her and know she deserves better. I want to be that better thing she deserves. And that's pretty much where I stand right now, stuck somewhere between the rock and the hard place. I feel a little better getting this all down. Maybe that's all I need to move on...

So work. I can't talk about anything specific about work. It's one of those, have to sign a confidentiality form. I can't even talk about calls with my co-workers. It's a real shame because I'm really, really starting to like the deaf community. :) They really are a different culture and who knew that ASL wasn't English?! Some of the calls I get make me laugh so hard! Praise Allah I have as mute button on my phone so the Hearing User doesn't know I'm laughing. The best part of the job is how chill the environment is. The company really goes leaps and bounds over what I've experienced at call centers in the past. I originally thought that I'd quit once August rolled around to do the artist thing full-time. No longer the plan now. I want to have both jobs. I want to be good doing both things. The BEST news of all is that I don't have ulcer pains anymore either. It's amazing what a little relief of stress can do for your overall well-being. Hopefully the trend continues into August.

Speaking of August, I'm almost 24. This last year has gone by faster than any year before. I sometimes feel like I'm beating my head against a wall and not getting anywhere but here are a few things I've learned over the year. 1. People suck. 2. Some people suck no matter what you do for them and it doesn't matter how much blood, sweat and tears you put into their well-being, they'll still suck. 3. I can be ok with that now because I will not let their attitude dictate my level of patience for others or allow them to destroy my God-given worth. 4. Saying you're a Christian isn't enough. You have to truly treat other's with love and respect. Christianity doesn't just happen because you go to church, although it usually helps. ;) Things yet to learn. 1. Women. 2. What separates the great women I know from the awful women I tend to date. Scratch that, the atrocious women I tend to date. 3. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Seriously. 4. What am I going to end up doing the rest of my life? I know what I want to do but that's not the problem... And finally, 5. What is God going to put in my life next that is there strictly for me to learn from?

I don't expect anybody to read this or even care but since I don't keep one of those... what do you call those books? Journals? Books from the non-digital age are so yester-year. We have blogs now. You know, online journals that anyone can read? They don't even have to sneak into your room and break into your Power Rangers toy chest, digging through Legos and Lincoln Logs to get to it! Anyway, since I don't keep a journal, this is going to be my new coping strategy. At least it combines two good things; getting your feelings out and networking with loved ones. Too bad my family isn't aware of this blog. Thanks for reading.

May 28, 2008

So I started work today. I start really early... Like REALLY early. How does 6am sit with you? Do you know me? Do you know how much of a morning person I am not? What, pray tell, motivates me to get up at the asinine hour of 5 to get there on time?! I'd be lying if I said that I was looking forward to the work but this new company is ethical!!! Unlike Vaanguard Car Rental with National/Alamo Car Rental... I quit that job because they were taking advantage of Hurricane Katrina. Something about jacking up prices for the months relief efforts were strongest just didn't sit well with my conscience. Or "conscience keepers," if you know what I mean. :)

Anyway, I'm helping the deaf, hard of hearing and those with speech impediments. I'm pretty excited about it now that I've spent a few hours in the work environment and our chats with management.

So I don't have much more to say at this hour of the night... More to come later. :)

May 20, 2008

Blog, blog, blog. This is my blog. Mine. That means I can post all sorts of random things that nobody is going to read anyway. Well, except everyone at Meridian because all they ever do is mess around online. That and force me to take off their toenail polish. Praise Allah I don't have to do that anymore. ;)
So I've decided that job hunting sucks. I really don't like looking around the city, randomly walking into buildings asking if I can talk to HR. My resume looks well enough but there is just something I hate about selling myself. Probably some horrid memory of State St. or something maybe. Or maybe that one time I danced for money... (That was for your benefit Shane.)
I've been passing the time well. It's taken me all weekend and into this week to do my laundry and clean my room. Ok, so that's not so record time but the point you're missing is that it actually can't get any worse than this! Well, maybe a little worse but at least there aren't any pizza boxes being used as furniture. :)
The "Band Room" is also getting re-organized. I've been Working hard at getting everything together so I can record. So far, everything is still a mess...
And I've been so bored I've been doing some random artwork for personal projects. This one below is a T-Shirt design I created and ordered. If you see me wearing it, you'll know it's my work. If you see someone else wearing it, I sold it to them but it is still my work.
This is actually art from a plat map. Meridian should appreciate this. :)
And this one is just a random design.
Oh, and I'm selling my bike for $200 to anyone that wants it. I paid $300 for it but I never used it more than a couple of times. It's got brand new slicks (street tires) on it and is a cool shade of blue. Anyway, if you know of anybody that wants it, just let me know. Thanks all!
I'm really sorry that my pictures aren't as cool as your pictures but this my blog and I have the same posting rights that you or any blogger has on this site. DEAL with it. ;)

I'll try to keep writing here instead of where it was at myspace. I have a feeling it'll be easier to keep track of here. (Besides, myspace won't give me a GB worth of upload space. I can spot a deal when I see one. Unless you don't count free services as "deals". Well, aren't you the nit-picky rat I first thought you to be! Not that there's anything against rats. Tis my Chinese year. Hail the rat! Except for you of course, ya dirty rat you... No symphony lies in store for you! And that is no misprint because I did, indeed, mean the chocolate bar. Take that!) Unless I need to rant, rave, curse, etc. then I'll write it up at myspace. Believe me, I want to spare you from anything mildly inappropriate. This blog will always be SFW. Thanks for reading BTW. I hate being MIA so BMG and ASAP PLZ RSVP so we can ROTFL at my jokes until you XYZ and stop laughing. WTF?! ;)
Nobody is going to read all this crap so if you did make it this far, thanks for looking at my pictures/art.